Comments on: Public Passing Pleasure: Gathering Your Nerve to Step Out for the First Time

By: Sallee Moore

Sallee Moore — Tue, 29 Jul 2025 18:07:18 +0000

that is so true. Essentially no one cares. If they do most likely they’ll say nothing maybe but unlikely a weird look, whatever that is. Everybody is suffering with their own problems Sallee

By: Blanquita

Blanquita — Tue, 09 Jan 2024 11:49:24 +0000

Ja,ja ja ¡que horror! Casi me desmayo, senti vértigo. Una amiga me maquillo discreto me peino, un vestido bien señorero, veletas, sali con ella (ella si abierta, y desparpajada) caminanos me temblaban las piernas entramos a una cafeteria pedimos café y me fijo que tenia que ir al baño y quede solo completamente solo, la espere unos minutos , las personas que estaban ahi ni siquiera se fijaron, pasaron quince o mas minutos queria morirme, pedi la cuenta, pague, miraba a ver si venia o que pasaba, fui al baño de hombres un sujeto me dijo señora es el otro, tenia panico y say sali a la plaza, mire para todos los lados, el dueño de la cafetería me llamo y me entrego el bolso, -señora lo dejo en la mesa y sus devueltos, me iba a desmayar: recibi el bolso y el dinero atravese la plaza(creo que corrí a zancadas) una, dos tres… diez cuadras llegue al salon de mi amigo y estaba cerrado y mi ropa la había dejado ahi, ¿que hago madre mia? Estaba mojado en sudor, esperar, pasaban muchas personas, ya no tenia miedo, tenia rabia, me castigue mentalmente tenia ira. Escuché una voz conocida -¿-Blanquita estás bien? -pobrecita la señora. , me abrazo – perdiste la compostura nena, corrias como loca, entramos me cambie y sali. En el transporte todos me miraban, llegué a la casa mi hermana me preguntó -¿que viene de fiesta? No dije entre a mi habitacion me vi en el espejo. Se me habia olvidado quitarme el maquillaje.

By: Boyprincess

Boyprincess — Fri, 30 Jun 2023 10:28:05 +0000

It is very gratifying for me that you are able to go out transformed into the street, I am not capable since my body is too masculine and it is very difficult for me to hide it even after shaving, it is impossible to hide the chin area. Thank you.

By: Martini

Martini — Tue, 21 Mar 2023 03:42:14 +0000

In reply to Janine.

Hi Janine,
Thank you for the lengthy response. It all rings so true. And I too have the bathroom nerves: I really just don’t want to make people uncomfortable. Parents with kids often have their hackles up and overreact to anything unusual in the environment. We are unusual, so we trigger the protective instinct.
Anyway, one thing you hinted at is the hyper-awareness of self that comes with stepping out for the first few times: “When I heard the click of the door closing ,I realized that I was outside of my safe zone.
I began walking and could hear the click of my high heels on the sidewalk and feel the slight breeze blowing through my hair and under my skirt.”
Too, when living as a woman becomes mundane, this tendency also evaporates and you can just “forget” about the whole gender question and just live your life in a way that is self-validating. Which really is all any of us wants.

By: Janine

Janine — Fri, 17 Mar 2023 14:36:06 +0000

Hi Martini
Just read your thoughts on going out dressed en femme and I think that you have told it exactly how it is
Once you have had enough to hiding in your home or a lonely motel room, it gets boring and stale. You keep thinking about going out among people, but aren’t sure what will happen, if you do
I was that person. It wasn’t until one day I decided that today was the day, I was going to leave the security of a motel room and venture out
I spent the entire morning on getting ready. I did everything I needed to do, but I did it as slowly as I could, because I wanted everything to be just perfect on the way that I looked.
Eventually I was fully dressed and it was time to leave.
I must have tried the lock on the door at least 10 times, making sure that I wouldn’t be locked out of my room
Once I was satisfied that I could leave and not get locked out, I put the strap of my purse on my shoulder and put my sunglasses on, then took a deep breath to calm my nerves and opened the door and walked outside, closing the door behind me.
When I heard the click of the door closing ,I realized that I was outside of my safe zone.
I began walking and could hear the click of my high heels on the sidewalk and feel the slight breeze blowing through my hair and under my skirt
Wow, I thought to myself
So this is what girls feel like when they are outside, wearing a skirt. I never imagined that I’d feel a breeze blowing under my skirt, but evidently, thus is what happens when you wear a skirt or dress
It sure made me feel feminine and girly.
I went to a outside shopping center and walked around, window shopping, but mostly looked at myself in the windows of the stores, seeing how I looked.
You are right.
Hardly anyone was paying attention to me. I was just another girl out shopping.
After that first time, I went out quite often, without anyone clocking me
Once I was in a mall and walking towards the hallway that led to the ladies room and I saw a woman standing there looking at me and she had three young children with her. I could see that she was stressed by the way that she was yelling at her children.
When I got close to her she said to me
Your not a female, you can’t go into the bathroom.
I stopped walking and said to her
I’m just as much a woman as you are. I need to use the bathroom and I’m going to.
I walking past her and went into the ladies room and releaved myself and wondered if when I left the bathroom, if I was going to have to deal with security?
Thankfully when I left the bathroom, she was gone and there wasn’t any security or police waiting for me.
I continued shopping and brushed it off as a unfortunate thing.
That was the only time I had ever been questioned and I kept my composure when she approached me..
After I told her that I was just as much of a woman as she was, she didn’t answer me, so I guess that she believed that I was.a woman.
Thanks for your wonderful article and your perception on going out for the first time
You really nailed it